YES, we are here! We are in the first month of 2020! It is a whole new decade, time to do this thing we’ve been thinking about! But uh-oh …. As the time gets closer and things start to get real, our insecurities start playing tug-of-war with our dreams.
Maybe I should think about this, is this really what I want, it’s crazy!! What will my spouse think, I’ve never told them about my dream? It’s really bad timing, I’ve got so much on my plate with my parents getting elderly; my kids are involved in everything; I just volunteered for that committee/board. What will everyone think of me, I mean it’s just so unlike me, they’ll think I’m stupid for taking this risk; they’ll think that I’ve lost my marbles; they’ll wonder why I’m putting my financial stability at risk or why I think that I can do this! And last, but certainly not least, are those gremlins in your mind, heart, and soul that tell you you’ll never be able to do this – you’ve never been able to do it before, what makes you think that you can do it this time; what makes you think you are so different from others, you’re not special; you are not qualified to do this, you’re ridiculous; you are too old; you are too young; you are not smart enough!
I could go on and on listing another 10 pages of MY insecurities, I’ve got them all! During each of these changes the self-doubt flourished – from quitting a corporate job with all the bennies and starting my own business at the age of 50 to meeting and falling in love with a man from another state; from quitting smoking and losing weight to my latest one, deciding to build an event center on our farm in the middle of midwest MN. WHAT?!?!
These self-doubts can quickly spiral out of control into a paralyzing fear that can hold you back for months and years – sometimes forever! Don’t let that be you, you need to hear this! It’s completely normal. It’s how our brains work, our conscious fighting for air time with our subconscious. It’s the way we are built, to be afraid of new things. The great part of this is that it keeps us cautious and safe in new situations but the bad part is that it keeps us cautious and safe in new situations. It’s truly bittersweet. What we need to understand is that new things are just that, they are NEW things. The are not a saber-toothed tiger chasing you! The reason it feels scary or makes you feel anxious is because you’ve never been here before. That’s ok, a bit of fear has its place to keep us safe, but know that the fears that keep us playing small are not truths, they are merely feelings we call “limiting beliefs” and they are POWERFUL!
When we fail we often acquire a limiting belief that says we are not able to succeed, like ever. Which of course is crap. When we answered wrong in school, or didn’t get an A or didn’t win the trophy we are told “Sorry kid, you just aren’t good enough. You couldn’t cut the mustard. You don’t belong .” Maybe not directly but that’s how we felt, sometimes at school but also at home. You may have heard any number of limiting beliefs around money such as – “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” or “Money is the root of all evil.” or “All rich people are snobs.” Then again, maybe it was more personal, such as “Who do you think you are?” or “Get off of your high horse.” or maybe “People like us don’t get things like that.”
These limiting beliefs are detrimental to your self-worth and if you allow them, will keep you from achieving what you dream of. You talk with yourself more than any other person, be careful what you say.
“Choose the words you say to yourself wisely, they are creating your reality.” Sean Stephenson
Next week, we’ll dive deeper into how you can remove the old belief system that is holding you hostage in this small and safe life!
Bye for now,
7 Strategies to Magnify℠
The 7 MAGNIFY strategies help you steer your leadership journey personally and professionally to a place where you can manage and even THRIVE! Everything laid out here for you are steps, thoughts, quotes and approaches that have helped me guide people to LEAD better, LIVE bigger and LOVE their lives more!